Jim Tavish, the proprietor of a number of corporations within the healthcare trade, discovered earlier this week that his private belongings and holdings have pushed his web value previous $1 billion, the end result of a life-long pursuit, and but, he’s not joyful about it.
“Appears like I picked the improper week to turn into a billionaire,” he mentioned, sighing closely. “Seems individuals all of a sudden don’t love billionaires. Who knew?”
“My complete life has been devoted to this second, doing no matter it takes together with destroying individuals and exploiting authorized loopholes to accumulate increasingly, by no means glad with having sufficient,” he added whereas trying to supply tears. “And now I can’t even benefit from the fruits of my labors, which has been exploiting the fruits of different individuals’s precise labors.”
Tavish’s realization comes on the heels of President-elect Donald Trump filling cupboard positions with at the very least 11 billionaires with an estimated mixed private wealth of $340 billion, a transfer that would appear to contradict his marketing campaign’s attraction to working-class voters and accusations that President Joe Biden’s administration was consultant of a corrupt governing elite that was dishonest abnormal working Individuals.
“So now abnormal working Individuals are of their emotions about it? Effectively, that’s simply nice,” he mentioned, dramatically placing his fingers on his hips. “They appear to have forgotten that we’re simply lovable, charming, quirky guys like Scrooge McDuck and Dudley Moore as ‘Arthur’. We’re common guys who take pleasure in swimming swimming pools stuffed with gold cash, sporting monocles and taking non-public submarine excursions to discover well-known shipwrecks.”
“Now they’re on the market capturing CEOs who’re mere multimillionaires,” he mentioned, leaping up and down in a single place and pulling on the hair on the perimeters of his head. “Nothing ever goes my manner.”
