In what is basically a conciliatory gesture for being the one Florida weirdo not being thought of for a cupboard place with the incoming Trump presidential administration, Florida Senator Rick Scott has been invited to throw the primary unlawful immigrant in a foreign country as a part of the presidential inauguration on January 20.
“We admire Rick’s loyalty and assist as demonstrated by his reptilian weirdness and being typically off-putting, however after tabbing Lil’ Marco for Secretary of State and lantern-headed former congressman and youth actions fanatic Matt Gaetz for legal professional common, it’s getting type of Florida-heavy,” mentioned a spokesperson at Mira Lago. “We nonetheless have to search out spots for different opportunistically steadfast trustworthy boot-licking lapdogs like Ted Cruz and Lindsay Graham.”
Scott, grateful simply to be thought of for inclusion in any social gathering, accepted the supply, though he gained’t truly be attending the ceremony in Washington DC.
“No, the plan proper now’s for him to be dwell through satellite tv for pc from El Paso, Texas, the place he’ll kick issues off for us by throwing a child named Juan or Julio or Raheem or one thing again into Mexico the place it had by no means truly lived, whereas being accompanied by the stadium organist for the soon-to-be re-re-renamed Washington Redskins enjoying ‘Jarabe Tapatío‘, the Mexican hat dance tune ,” mentioned the spokesperson. “I don’t know. We’ll determine one thing out. There are lots of shifting elements at this level. One factor we do know for sure is that no one desires him at any events we’re having in DC that day.”
