The Florida Public Service Fee met Tuesday and voted to permit Tampa Electrical (TECO) to proceed shifting hundreds of thousands in prices from giant company energy customers onto the payments of normal Floridians and small companies.
“This was a superb final result for the corporate and our prospects, and we sit up for persevering with to supply our prospects with protected, dependable energy,” mentioned TECO spokesperson Cherie Jacobs in an electronic mail, presumably typed whereas laughing and making jackoff hand gestures.
“I don’t find out about any of that however this units me up for a terrific 12 months! Perhaps I’ll purchase an electrical automobile,” mentioned Mark Rubnutz, a TECO shareholder. “Simply kidding. I can’t afford that.”
“Positive, we ignored the suggestions of our personal workers in making this resolution, however it’s not like customers don’t produce other choices in the event that they don’t prefer it,” mentioned Florida Public Service Fee Chairman Gary Clark. “Get the neighbors collectively and construct a windmill or no matter else Amish folks do to outlive.”
Sheila Walcott, a TECO buyer and single mother in Tampa mentioned, “My electrical invoice is already actually excessive; how am I supposed to soak up an extra value for primary electrical service once I’m barely overlaying my value of residing bills?”
An automatic response from TECO customer support supplied an inventory of close by gentleman’s golf equipment and studios providing pole dancing lessons.
